I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize