Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
