literally had 100 drinks last night.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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