Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
