The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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