the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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