I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
