Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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