well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
