Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
