I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
