i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize