I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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