at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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