Life is so much better after having sex.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
