this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
