i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
