STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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