I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
