I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
