Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
