FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
