It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
