Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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