no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
