I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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