Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
