I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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