i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
