So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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