dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize