Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We are two peas in an std pod
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
