WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
