Screwed.edu
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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