White coat. Heels.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
