i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize