I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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