Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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