yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
