I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
