she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
