She announced her abortion via fbk
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
