Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize