I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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