Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
