My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
