party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
