they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
