You can't special order awesome
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
