a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
