I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
