don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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