i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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