I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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