i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize