Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
