she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
