Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
