I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
