I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
home. puking in laundry basket.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
