whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
