You're my little dorito
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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