we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
