yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
