Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
