i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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