They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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