you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
