I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
