When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We talked him into tasing himself.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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